Several weeks ago I ran into an old friend – he’s older than me, so he’s old. I hadn’t seen Jimmy in a few years as he’d moved to the midwest and back. I’d dropped 30 pounds since he’d last seen me (and gained 7-8 back), so he didn’t recognize me at first. After a brief reunion, we agreed to have lunch several days later.
When we called to confirm, Jimmy asked me to be his “escort” to his surgery late in May. His partner was going to be out of town, and although he *really* wanted his partner to stay, he wouldn’t ask him.
I was a little surprised that he asked me. We hadn’t seen each other for a while. I didn’t feel uncomfortable about doing it at all, aside from scheduling issues. Ultimately, I said yes. This came with house-sitting and dog-sitting duties. Two really cute cocker spaniels were my charges, Matti and Mini.
Both are pretty high energy dogs, although I’d have to give the nod to Matti in this department. Mini was a little more on the ditzy side, with a tendency to go *clump* on the floor and have food/treats that were tossed to her land on the side of her face, rather than her mouth.
Oh, did I mention that Mini was epileptic?
The evening before the surgery arrives – it was originally scheduled for Memorial Day. The week before, someone woke-up and realized this and said, “Oh, we can’t POSSIBLY do it that day.” Well, duh. We both got to bed (different beds, yes), and I actually got something like 5 hours sleep. Jimmy got about 2. He was understandably nervous.
On the bright side, aside from a 90 minute delay in starting, the surgery seemed to go well. The waiting area was okay, but I found myself wanting to get out of there, so I wound up going for breakfast down the street … then coffee across the street in the food court (oooh, danish!) … then lunch … by the end of the day, so 19 or so hours later, I’d had 5 meals. And StarF*cks … the medical center’s wireless kept dropping … SOOOO frustrating …
You learn a lot about people when they aren’t feeling their best. I certainly had some interesting moments with Jimmy. You also learn a lot about hospital staff … like the one you saw naked somewhere on line. The people at the hospital were all stunningly nice and friendly, except for one MD who was assisting. She was as much fun as a tank full of dead sea monkeys.
And why is it, decades of “modern medicine” later, that we can’t have hospitals with rooms and “theatres” that don’t look like morgues? Pre-op at this premiere, teaching, university hospital had paint that had chipped off. The color of most of the hospital was rotting-avocado, with trim colored in rottED avocado. It’s as if the message is … “If you didn’t feel ill before, we’d like to accomodate you into that feeling now!”
Of course, being San Francisco, everyone assumed that Jimmy and me were partners. The second evening, a new nurse was assigned to Jimmy - tall guy who spent 5 years in the South and picked up quite an accent. Funny thing is, I was the single, ambulatory one … Jimmy was the “marriedish,” fresh-out of surgery, whoremoanal one …
It was fun. Torturing Jimmy and the staff became part of the experience.
I had to fill out some paperwork with/for Jimmy. One of the questions was what my relationship to Jimmy was. He said “Forced Pain Master,” which, of course, I wrote down and continued.
Sadly, just before I left on Thursday for good, Mini had a seizure. She clumped down the stairs, and then it really began. Fortunately, it was brief – less than 90 seconds. It was sad to watch, though. (She’s fine as she can be at this point.)
As I type this, we’re still waiting for Jimmy to be released, but things looked good coming out of surgery, and he was up and about in less than 24 hours after his surgery was completed. I find that amazing after surgery that involved bones and nerves.
If I had to pick a hospital and a floor, UCSF and 8 South in Moffitt would be the place. My hat’s off to UCSF and their staff.
Oh, I guess Jimmy had something to do with it as well …
