San Francisco Gay Pride Weekend 2008

Okay, let’s start this off with admitting that I’m so dead tired, it’s not even funny.  I have NO idea where this ramble is going to go …

One recap: I had stitches put in my head a few weeks ago.  I’ve been trying to get them taken out for about 10 days, but have been getting the royal run around.  No doctors are taking new patients, it would seem, and my doctor had left private practice.

A couple weeks ago, I joined the SF Zen Center’s group on Facebook.  It’s an open group, and anyone can join.  Shortly thereafter, a plea came out to volunteer for the Zen Center at Pink Saturday (for the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence), and to volunteer as a safety monitor for the Parade.  I thought about it, and volunteered for both.

I’ve had no prior connection with the Zen Center, and while I consider myself a Buddhist, my practice is quite lapsed, and I’m hardly Zen.  This seemed like a good group for whom to volunteer, and while admire the group I’d volunteered for before, slinging alcoholic beverages for a group that does community outreach in a poorish neighbourhood dealing with things like substance abuse seemed … odd.

Flash forward to Friday night … the training for Contingent Monitoring on the float.   I’m heading down to the Women’s Building on 18th.  The Castro/Noe Valley area is packed.  I’m running into people I know, and get down to the Dolores Park.  There a little festival going on … it’s a Tranny Festival.  I walked around it a bit – I was in desperate need of a porta potty, and they had a bunch set up.  They seemed to be having good fun.

I’m going to leave the most of the one-on-one personal stories out of this piece, or it will be a mile long.  (To be clear … no, no sexual encounters for me this weekend.)

The training was quite different than the one I’d done 10 years ago.  It was pretty humourous, but leave it to SF Queens to keep to the stereotype of telling people to show up early, and then run 15-30 minutes late.  Ugh.  In the history of SF’s Parade, there has been *one* fatality.  The trainers make the presentation fairly fun and silly, but they are VERY serious about the safety of everyone.  Hats off to them.

I left the training, and connected with some friends who were finishing dinner.  We ran into MORE friends.  I was planning on getting home early.  I finally walked through my door – waaaay tooo sober – at 11:40PM.  Ugh.  I chatted until about 12:30AM, when I finally ran out of steam.

I had a tough time sleeping, Saturday morning.  I still couldn’t have the windows open because of the smoke, and the place was stuffy.  I stumbled about, and decided to NOT volunteer for a third event (the Festival).  After slothing about, I moved into some meditation for an hour, and then headed into SF, dropped off my stuff at a friends place, let someone take my stitches out, and went to the party.

Yes, someone took my stitches out at home.  After getting the royal run-around from the system, a friend who’d done it many times offerred.  I finally accepted.  We sterilized everything, and in 2 minutes .. boom … and out.  As wonderful as the Emergency Staff at Davies was, every other person I dealt with in the medical system in SF was uniquely unhelpful.  I may blog about that another day.

Prior to the Pink Party, there was a dinner party with friends from chat.  (Thank you, Roc, for being a gracious host.)  I’d met several of the people there at our Sunday brunch gatherings, but there were many new faces.

And several new penises …

See, this group includes several people who enjoy not wearing clothing.  Strictly speaking, I’m told, it is not illegal to be nude in SF, it’s “lewd conduct” that may violate the law.  So, we had three people who were not clothed and not uncomfortable about it.  After the first 2 seconds, I wasn’t either.

One guy was a chat buddy whom I’d never met in person.  That’s an interesting way to meet someone.  “Hi, I’m <name> and this is my penis.”  Not your everyday occurrence. 

<smile>

We all made our own pizzas, which were scrummy.  I then wandered down to the Community Center for yet another training with the Sisters.  I’d never really worked with the Sisters before, so I had no idea what to expect.

Let me tell you … for all the Camp and Fooling Around that the Sisters are stereotyped for doing, and even being somewhat stereotypical in running late with second shift a bit, these people are First Class.  Other than timing, everything was professional and friendly and fun.  I met many nice people there.

I thought I’d be working the gate.  Instead, I wound up working Security at the Castro Theatre Dance Area.  I was paired with a woman from the east bay … super nice … we got on great.  She stood near the DJ area, and I was standing under a tree in front of All American Boy. 

I saw many friends, including several chat buddies I’d never met in person.  Most did not recognize me, for a variety of reasons including the hat … and the fact that I looked like a GLOBE.  I had 3 layers on, and they I had a “Safety Orange” vest on.  I was like a little planet with hands, feet, and a head. 

For the most part, that dance area was mellow.  The Bank of America area and the MUNI stop had more drama.  The biggest problem we had was with people tripping over detrious in the street and broken glass.  Glass is forbidden at Pink Saturday, but residents come out with bottles in hand. 

Two people tried to fall in front of me.  I caught one guy, who would have fallen backward, head-first into the street.  Unfortunately, the second person was too far away, and three of us tried to catch her, but she fell and hit her nose and face on the sidewalk.  She started walking away, but my partner convinced her to stop and wait for help.  I called for help, and had a Sister come to help within a couple minutes. 

They tell you in training how people come up and thank you for helping out.  I thought it was fluff, and that people would ask for directions and toilets – which they did.  I have to admit, though: Stone cold sober people came over and said very, very nice things to me.  Several “thank yous” just because we were there.  It was very rewarding.  I hope I’ll be able to do it again next year.

My one true regret was not being able to say hi to some people that I knew from chat, particularly Jase.  Next time, though … watch out!

When it was over, I got my tshirt … and then we poured my one friend into the cab with us and went home.  I finally got to sleep at 1:30, and was awake by 7:00.  Late for me.  I ran late, too, but got to the Zen Float in plenty of time.

Prior to Sunday, I knew *no one* there, other than speaking with one of the coordinators by phone.  With one exception, everyone I met was so so so *very* nice … even when I had to scold one of them during the parade for getting an entire contingent behind us.  They were a little confused about how I got there, and when I told them the story (a few times), everyone’s face lit up.  I’m not Zen, but I really liked the group of people there (again, with one exception).   Everyone encouraged me to join them at either the Center in SF, or at Green Gulch. 

The parade was FAST!  For the first year, there was NO cross-traffic on Market Street.  In the past, traffic breaks were allowed on a couple of streets.  This year, there were none.  We left about an hour earlier than we would have last year, I think.  We rarely stopped.  One contigent member chose to leave at the halfway point.  It was that kind of fast.

I saw a lot of people en route that I know.  It was really a lot of fun.  I also got some great feedback later and on line this morning (Monday) about how the SF Zen Center contingent brought a moment of calm to the parade. 

I then connected with my friends, and we walked the festival for a couple hours.  I bought a $20 lunch at the festival that consisted of an Gyro/Falafel, deep fried artichokes, and a 20 Strawberry Smoothie.  OUTrageous, but I was ready to gnaw my arm off.  Credit where due: the Strawberry Smoothie was VERY good.

The other “must mention” was Claire, and I hope I’m spelling her name right.  Gods, it was good to see her.  It had been ages.  Wonderful, funny, beautiful woman …

Around 3:45 I ran into the naked guys from the dinner party.  They were posing with people on some beds that were set-up at the Festival.  I’m sure folks were taking pictures to caption as “Only in San Francisco.”

We left at 4:30.  Two of us were dead, the fog had come screaming in, and I needed to get my stuff.  I managed to stumble to the condo, grab my stuff, and catch the 5:27 bus home.  I fell asleep 3 times, and woke my own, sorry self up with my snoring.  LOL

When I stood up from the bus seat, I could barely walk.  Grabbed some food from the store, came home, and plopped at the computer.  I had a good chat, but everytime I stood up, my legs were like, “Oooooh, NOOOOO, Lucy!”  I kept looking down expecting to see Vivian Vance hiding in each thigh …

I finally crashed into bed, who knows what time.  I slept until 7 … very unusual for me.

I’ll write more about the people of the weekend next time.  But, for now …

Ed Dead … but I’ll be back soon.  J

AIR!

I got up this morning, and looked for the sunrise.  The sun was the scariest ever … it was like late evening near the aegean, with super hot temps.  But, it wasn’t hot, just smokey:

Can’t see the sun there?  Here’s a close-up:

When I stepped out to take the shots, I thought, “Boy.  Is this gonna suck.”  I got out side, and voila:

AIR!

I couldn’t believe it.  There was real, clean good air.  The winds had shifted to the west, and the fog had come part way in.  It was a miracle!  I ran around opening every window and door I could.  The breeze was strong and chilly, and sitting at my desk, my hands got blue from the cold.  I didn’t care.  There was AIR!

One Hour … Two Hours … Three.   It was yummy.  The fog came in further and further, and I thought, “I’m going to be able to breathe today!”

The huge gust of smoke came in the window.  I damn near spewed my coffee on the keyboard. 

The winds had shifted to the North.  The breeze had not slowed at all, just shifted.  Now the smoke was barrelling down on us.  In one dramatic shift, everything changed.  It went from being a gorgeous corner of the world again, to the worst smoke day in Sausalito this season.  As I rewrite this blog – which I’m doing because once again WordPress’s software isn’t publish, and *is* crashing – I can no longer see further than about 1 mile.  Angel Island – visible in the pictures above – is all but gone now.

<sigh>

California Smoke

One of the joy’s of living in the San Francisco Bay Area is the beautiful, fresh air that most of us enjoy year round.  Oh, on “Spare the Air” days, it can be unpleasant, particularly down by San Jose.  For many of us, though, clear, fresh, sometimes-foggy air is more common.

Not this week.

The fires in California had completely mucked the air up in state, and even here on the West Side of the Bay Area.  I live in an area of Sausalito affectionately known as “Hurricane Gulch,” which is so named because of the winds that come ripping over the hill from the Ocean Side, typically at 30-35 mph and often bringing fog along with it.

While it has been breezy on occasion, the breeze has been light, and from the wrong direction. 

Apparently, the smoke is causing the the valley to heat up less than usual for this time of year.  When the valley heats up, air and fog are drawn into the Bay Area (most famously through the Golden Gate).  The air here clears out, thanks to the breezes.

With the valley NOT heating up as much, none of this happens as usual.  Instead, here in Sausalito, we’re getting winds from the North and Northeast, which are driving the smoke from the fires up there to here.  The stench in the air is awful.  While San Francisco has better quality air than here, the city was actually getting winds from the South yesterday at one point, driving smoke from the fires there in that direction.  Everything seems to be colliding over the bay, and congealing.

Sunrise looks like Sunset.  There is a never ending “hazey” look that is rarely seen here, let alone maintained day after day.  It’s never really daylight, even though you can feel the sun strongly at different points in the day. 

It’s like the Elizabeth Taylor/White Diamonds Spoof that Sally Field did years ago filmed through gauze for Saturday Night Live.  Only, this is smoke. 

Blessedly, if there is any blessing in this, our side of the bay has remained “not hot” by CA standards. That would be true hell.

Breathing is difficult for many, and more than one person has had to reach for their inhaler.  I pulled out an ancient inhaler and took two hits.  I just couldn’t bare it anymore.  I haven’t had a situational asthma attack in years.

What I wouldn’t give for a 10 storey high fan …

California Marriage

I’ve been very unpopular with many of my gay and lesbian friends the past couple of weeks.  I just don’t think the CA Marriage Ruling and the State Marriages are that big a win.

I’m not saying I think it’s bad that same-sex/gender couples can get married.  It may give a boost to the CA Initiative that would ban same-sex marriages in the State, and that is bad.  I don’t know that it will be enough to make that initiative pass, though.  It will harden many religious people who feel that their religion is being threatened – which isn’t to say they aren’t already hard.

What’s more disturbing is what I’ve heard from people who really don’t understand how little this changes.  I’ve heard people say things like, “Now, I can make medical decisions for my partner,” or “Now, I can inherit from my partner.”  Well, I hate to tell them – and they hate more to hear – that that was true in the early 90s, if not earlier. 

When, I point that out, they say, “Well, this can’t be challenged.”  Um … tell that to Terry Schiavo’s husband – what a horrible thing that family went through over medical decisions.  Ditto that ability to be challenged on wills – remember Anna Nicole Smith’s husband?  Anyone?  Anyone?

Then I get, “Well, you have to file paperwork to get those rights.”  Um … What’s a Marriage License? 

I actually heard someone say on the radio, “Now, I can be with my partner for the rest of my life.”  What the heck was stopping you before??? 

As many people are realizing when they stop and think about it, same-sex marriage doesn’t change many of the big things, like Federal Taxation, Immigration Rights, or anything dealing with federal regulations and interstate relations. 

I take that back in part.  I does setup more legal challenges, to get more legalities, and make more lawyers famous and wealthy. 

Sadly, the real change the LGBT Community needs is greater acceptance and tolerance, not legal remedies.  You need legal remedies to solve that missing acceptance and tolerance, and at that point, it’s really too late.  The injury has been done.

This does nothing to move the needle on tolerance or acceptance.  If we spent one-quarter of the money spent on this fight over legalities on out-reach and education, we’d have done more for the LGBTQQ community than this ruling will ever do.

The truly sad thing is what isn’t discussed in 90% of the discussions about same-sex marriage being legal in CA: The Relationship.  No one is discussing the development of a strong, mental, emotion bond between the people involved.  It’s all about taxes, financial benefits, and legal benefits – and the legal benefits “earned” are largely imagined as they already existed.

And therein is the part of problem that many opponents have in seeing same-sex couples as being equal … they don’t see a drive to have relationships and families.  They see a drive to threaten their religious beliefs, values, and to gain “legal rights” …

The trouble is, given the current rhetoric out of the community’s legal leaders … they aren’t wrong.

The other, inconvenient truth is, that if the relationship is the core of marriage, then this new “victory” is largely empty.  Marriage should be about solidifying and bonding that relationship, and that does not require the State.  That requires commitment to each other, and for many, religious recognition and ceremony.  This was previously possible for many, and for those who belong to a religious community that does not recognize same-sex marriages, NOTHING has changed.

And, just to mention it: CA Marriages do not do *anything* for the many, many single people in the community.  I suppose single LGBTQQ people aren’t that important …

I’m glad that same-sex couples can marry in California.  I’m opposed to discrimination based on sex, gender, or sexual orientation.  But let’s be honest about what this does and doesn’t do for the community.  And let’s get the emphasis back on what is important about marriage: The Relationship.

Poesia

I love food.  I also love Italian Food.  So, when it was suggested that a group of us go out for dinner at a new restaurant in San Francisco called Poesia, I was ready.

I’d never been in this space before, although I’d walked past it many times.  It had previously been a Middle Eastern Restaurant, which never quite caught on with the Castro Crowd, apparently.  The space itself is not large … at the height of the crush of people, I quickly counted about 55 people seated for dinner.  There’s an additional waiting area behind the bar, and the bar has setaing for around 10 people. 

Old Italian movies are projected onto the wall – not screen – above one set of tables.  All the staff I met, including the owner, were raised in Italy or spent some significant time there (based on the accents).  Everything is nicely appointed, and not garish. 

This evening we had a room that had 5 deuces, and 6 tables of parties of 5 or more.  We recognized some of the groups.  The was an older group of individuals who only go to “The Best Places(tm)” in the city next to us.  Opposite us, was a group of 8-9 people from the media industry.   To my left, a table of Real Estate agents and friends.  The restaurant was clearly pulling in the right crowd, and was turning people away.

For probably the first time in my life, I ordered three courses.  The first two courses – fritto misto and followed by zuppo del giono - were outstanding.  The oiled fennel was incredible, and the fried mozzarella was something you just wanted to roll around in.   The soup was almost more like a bisque of heirloom tomatoes and small bits of parmegiano regiano. 

There was a white wine with dinner.  I’m no longer a huge white wine fan, so I’m not necessarily the best judge on this, but I’ll say it was okay.  Everyone else at the table seemed to like it. 

Problems with 3 of the 5 main dishes stopped me from giving this place a 5 out of 5 star rating.  My swordfish was overly salty, and I usually ADD salt to my fish when I’m being a bad vegetarian boy.  Another person’s cut of meat was tough.  Finally, an order that was requested medium rare (lamb) came back well done. 

The well done meal got replaced, and we were comp’d three delicious desserts.  A chocolate gelato type thing with rock salt … deadly.  Delicious.  Tiramisu done in a way I’d never had before.  Then the stuffed canoli.  That was another dish I wanted to bathe in for about an hour …

I’m told that they have an exquisite bay-leaf infused grappa.  Sadly, they were out, and what they served – and clearly the owner didn’t *want* to serve it – was more powerful than the strongest homemade raki I’ve ever had on Crete.  We all took a sip, and melted the tablecloth on the exhale. 

I hope the restaurant does well.  I liked the people and the food.  Friends and funny conversation added to that of course.

4.5 Stars out of 5.

Blog Block

I occasionally have writers block … but this is different.  Twice in the last two days, my attempts to write my blog have ended in crashes. 

Yesterday, I wrote my entire blog about a Manic Morning.  I hit publish and nothing happened.  I tried to “go back,” and the post was gone.  No draft.  I just didn’t have time to do it over.  So … I skipped it.

Today, I started a bit of a rant about Technology, and in mid-scribble – bye bye Internet Exploder.  I keep moving stuff to Firefox, but this site isn’t one of them.  There’s an occasional incompatibility between IE and Real Player – no idea what or why. 

It’s like the the universe … or the tech universe anyway … was saying, “Boy, do those posts suck!”  No posting for you!

I’m not sure that I’ve distinguished myself with this one, but I at least got to share.

Emergency

In the mid-1990s, I had been a widower (widower … what a word) for a couple years, and still in my early 30s.  I’d gone back to figure skating as an alternative to other forms of exercise as I was close to Berkeley’s Iceland. 

One freeskate night, I’d been skating for a while, and was really tired.  I looked at the clock and the ice and told myself, “Okay, 10 more minutes.”  About 3 minutes later, I did what I’ve often done in my life in tennis, skating, you name it: I got lazy with my left foot and didn’t pick it up enough. 

Figure skates have picks on the front of them.  Do you know what happens when you don’t pick your foot up and the pick finds the ice?

BOOM

I’m flat on my face.  I look up and see the Zamboni guy who is off-rink, hop off the Zamboni, leap the wall, and come skating over.  Needless to say, I’m embarassed and humiliated.  He skates up to me, kneels down, and asks, “Are you OKAY?”  I tell him, yes, and he responds with, “Oh, Good.  Cuz that was really LOUD.” 

Embarassing.  On the other hand, I walked away.  I probably cracked a rib that night, but nevertheless, didn’t go to the hospital.

As I was walking up the street this past Tuesday night in San Francisco, I apparently did the same thing – dragged my left toe.  This time, however, I managed to open my skull in the back.  An evening and night in the hospital, and 8 stitches in my head later, I discovered the joy of walking in public with a giant, bandaged head.

Have you ever had a staple put in your head before?  Don’t.  I wound up with the stitches instead. 

A giant thank you to the doctors and nurses at Davies.  I’m a horrible patient, I know. 

I misread the bus schedule, and thought there was no transportation in the morning from SF to Sausalito.  That meant a walk, which I actually wanted.  Of course, part of my path included walking the Golden Gate Bridge.  I’m convinced I amused the workers, and horrified the tourists.

I did get to walk the bridge, though …

P.S.  Remind me to tell you the other, most embarassing moment … Gran Via in Madrid …

Politics and Chat

Okay, this isn’t about Obama and Clinton really … this is about supporters.

For months, I stayed on the sidelines about whom I supported.  I used to be sort of the party center over the years, so I tried to stay away from backing candidates.  With time, the country has shifted, and I have found myself further to the left.

I was always leaning in one direction this year, and with time, I became more convinced.  It wasn’t just what the candidates were or weren’t saying.  It was whom they were attracting.

Online chat is an interesting world.  I’ve watched online as Obama’s supporters slammed away at non-Obama people.  Today, when AP released their article declaring Obama had the numbers he needed, one of the usual protagonists showed up to promote Obama.  To say that I broke with my tradition of staying on the sidelines … albeit mostly … is an understatement.

For months, I’ve watched Obama and his supporters push disinformation and misinformation.  I was threatened in chat for voicing a non-supportive opinion of Obama.  I’ve watched as supporters said things like, “If Obama wins the popular vote, and she wins the nomination, I’m not voting for her.” 

Now, that it appears that Clinton will win the popular vote, but not the nomination, are they standing with that?  Of course, not.  To them, what happened in 2000 with Bush and Florida and the popular vote was an outrage – this is a victory.  This is Democracy (even though we live in a Republic)! 

Do they remember the threats?  No.  Do they remember the disinformation?  No.  In fact, they deny it all.

Not that I think for a second that Clinton’s big supporters would have done any differently.  I don’t.  They, however, weren’t throwing the fit and pointing the finger back then.

Obama turned me off in this campaign, I admit it.  At the beginning of the year, I said I’d probably hold my nose and vote for whomever won the Democratic Nomination.  After watching him, and really, those who support him … and their tactics … I cannot do it.  I have *never* not voted for the Democratic nominee, but after watching the way that people who disagreed with the Obama minority got treated, I have to consider what kind of people he is attracting in my equation. 

How bad is that for the Democrats if I’m not the Center?

Public Transportation

A few months ago, I made a decision to use public transportation (PT) instead of a car.  It has been quite a shift for me after years of driving daily, but as gas in my area has crawled up to $4.39 for regular unleaded, I’ve not regretted the decision in most ways … even if a 2 mile trip *is* $3.60.

There are a few things I loathe.  Where I live, PT comes through once an hour heading toward SF – except in the mornings, when a second commuter bus comes through.  Mind you, that second bus comes through pretty close to the regular, hourly bus.  So, effectively, I wind up with that bus OR … a 20 min walk to the ferry, and then 25 minutes on it.  There are about 8-9 ferries a day … not really helpful, and when you add the 40 min walk time to the trip … it’s a loss.  Golden Gate Transit, for some reason, seems to have trouble with SO many things, in my humble opinion, including serving the customers.  No wonder their ridership is bad.

I decided to try a different connection yesterday to SF’s bus system (SFMTA aka MUNI).   In theory, by swtiching to bus 10-15 mins earlier in SF (rather than light rail underground), and going roughly the same distance, I should arrive in 30 rather than 45 mins.  I arrived at the bus stop, and the sign says “next bus in 4 mins & 23 mins” … 10 mins later, the sign says “Arriving” … 20 mins later, the sign says “Arriving.”  No bus to be seen.  When it did finally show up, and some pasennger was asking what the delay was about, the driver had the audacity to say that busses only ran every 15 mins on weekends.

Would that it were so.

I was also recently told on GGT to turn my iPod *off* because other passengers could hear it.  I wasn’t asked.  I was told.  One passenger actually prodded me in the shoulder like he was tenderizing meat and said, “Yeah.  I can hear it.”  Meanwhile, in the back of ths bus, a bunch of rowdies were much louder than my poor little iPod could have been.  Of course, they were permitted to carry on …

Public Transportation … I’m beginning to wonder if it’s really that great an idea after all …