So, I recently came out on my blog here as a homosexual … to much shock, I must admit. Okay, no shock, but whatever …
It’s time to come out again. It’s true … I’m a Buddhist.
Stop tittering.
My practice has been very private. Most people don’t know, even though it’s on a profile or two about me on the internet. I don’t go to temple. In fact, I couldn’t even tell you the last time I was even *in* a temple.
This weekend, volunteering and marching with the San Francisco Zen Center in the SF Gay Pride Parade, I wound up thinking about that a lot. Not so much that I don’t go to temple – I’ve accepted that I’m often uncomfortable in group religious settings. More that, I’ve really strayed from the practice and codes of conduct that I believe form the core of my “religion.”
Religion. That even seems weird to type. I guess because I’ve spent so much time in a society where “religion” has condemned me for whom I’m attracted to, I tend to be skeptical of the groups. It’s sad, really. When I sang for St. Clement’s Church – affectionately known as St. Smells and Bells, as it is very high church – in Philadelphia, I loved *every* moment of the proceedings … except for the sermons. It was a beautiful time.
But then I think about so much hatred that has come out in the name of “Church” and “Religion” and that’s when I remember. I am SOOOOO Type-A.
My patience for BS is exceedly low, and though I don’t actually have it, I do sometimes blurt out exactly what I’m thinking like a Tourette’s Syndrome sufferer. People have remembered me at one previous employer as being the “Person who called people on their shit earlier than anyone in the history of the company.” Another person at a different company, upon learning that a friend had left me standing on a corner without a ride home, said, “Oh, honey … that is a woman of the cloth I would NOT want to piss off.”
I think it’s funny, because I don’t see myself that way, of course. I’m just me, right? Wrong.
So, it’s no wonder that people don’t get that I’m a Buddhist. I’m such a Type-A person at times. And, over the weekend, it hit me.
I’m a Type-A Buddhist.
Seeing another one in a leadership position with the contigent just gelled for me that I’m NOT unique! Sadly, like so many people probably feel about me, I *soooo* wanted to reach out and smack him. <sigh>
