I love Pranks. Never mean ones … at least, they’re never intended to be mean. But I love to prank at work and at play. Last night we were reviewing the pranks I’d pulled on the Midnight Sun staff. (The “Sun” is a video bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.)
In the past few months, the Sun has hired some new staff. One of the barbacks looked *very* familiar to me when I first saw him. VERY distinctive looks, in a throwback to the 80s-90s sort of way. Mid twenties or so, I thought. It was driving me nuts after about a week, so I finally cornered Dan, the manager whom I’ve know for about 16-17 years. I asked him, “Dan? Does he do porn? How do I know this guy?” I figured Dan would know because, well, Dan was in porn and was partnered to one of the biggest porn names in the business in the 80s and 90s. Dan said no. (Someday, I’ll share the Dan prank … that was fun).
I was lost … until one morning, I popped onto chat early, and there was this screen name on the list: Gen* Ahhhhhhh HAAAAAAH!
So, I waited for my chance, but Gen* doesn’t like to make eye-contact a lot in the bar, so it was tough. Then, one night, I caught this same guy, the really leatheresque, punkerish, pierced barback doing a flawless Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women … the episode where she defends her sister to some beauty pageant princess with the closing line, “… was the Night the Lights went Out in GeorGIA!”
About a week later, my aussie friend Dean brought Gen* over and I had my moment, “Ed, this is the sweetest man. This is …” and I interrupted … “THIS is Gen*” And both faces froze as I continued, “Who does a *flawless* Julia Sugarbaker in here.” It was much fun.
About a week later, I was online again, looking at somebody’s buddy list, when I saw a familiar face. It was the *other* new hire, whose handle is Kitchen*
I dig through his photos, and there it was … a hilarious photo of him where someone caught him totally obliterated, sitting on a toilet, leaning against the towel rack, eyes rolled up into his head, wearing *only* a t-shirt, which he is pulling down over his privates by a single thumb.
So … I printed it.
I arrived on his first day of work the next week, with the image printed in low quality, and folded in half. I went up and he asked if I wanted my usual, and I said yes, and oh … would he do something else for me? “Would you autograph something for me?” He made a funny face, but said, “Yes.”
“Would you sign this ‘To Ed Love Kitchen*’ please?” In the middle of which, I opened the folded image.
Kitchen* shrieked, grabbed the paper out of my hand, and ran into the back of the bar. A few seconds later he came stumbling out, laughing his fool head off.
He signed it. I have it. I showed it to many people … I think he showed it to more, though. :{)
(Reminder … names with the * are partial chat screen names.)
